Ernest Becker Challenges Yalom and Joins Freud, Bowlby, Winnicott, Klein, Ogden, and Anna
The exploration of the human psyche often leads us to confront the deepest and most challenging aspects of our existence. In our ongoing dialogue with Freud, Bowlby, Winnicott, Klein, Ogden, and Anna, I now invite Ernest Becker, (a key figure in my PhD research), the renowned cultural anthropologist and philosopher, to the table. Becker’s ground-breaking work, “The Denial of Death,” offers a provocative perspective that both complements and challenges the existential insights of Irvin Yalom.
Becker’s theory suggests that much of human behaviour is driven by an unconscious denial of our mortality. This denial manifests in various ways, from the pursuit of heroism to the creation of cultural beliefs and symbols that provide a sense of immortality. As Becker joins the conversation, he will offer Anna new insights into how her struggles with erotic transference, attachment, and existential fears may be influenced by her attempts to deny or manage her awareness of death.
Ernest Becker’s Provocative Arrival
The atmosphere in Freud’s office is thick with anticipation as Ernest Becker steps into the circle of dialogue. Known for his bold and sometimes controversial ideas, Becker brings a fresh perspective that challenges the existing views of Yalom and the other thinkers. His focus on the denial of death as a central motivating force in human life promises to add a provocative dimension to Anna’s exploration.
Becker begins by acknowledging Yalom’s contributions to understanding the existential fear of death. However, he quickly pivots to his own theory, which posits that much of our psychological and cultural life is constructed to deny or obscure the reality of our mortality. This denial, according to Becker, is not just a passive avoidance but an active force shaping our behaviours, beliefs, and emotional responses.
The Denial of Death
Becker elaborates on his central thesis: that the fear of death is so overwhelming that humans have developed various psychological and cultural mechanisms to deny it. He argues that these mechanisms are essential for maintaining psychological stability, but they also create profound distortions in our perception of reality and our interactions with others.
Anna is intrigued by Becker’s idea that her intense feelings towards Freud and her patterns of attachment might be influenced by a deep-seated denial of her mortality. Becker suggests that her erotic transference could be seen as a way to find significance and connection that distracts from the anxiety of death. By focusing on her relationship with Freud, Anna might be unconsciously seeking a form of immortality through love and connection.
Freud, always interested in the unconscious, sees a parallel between Becker’s ideas and his own theories about the death drive and the ways in which our awareness of mortality shapes our psychic life. Klein also recognises how her concept of splitting and internal objects can be linked to Becker’s ideas about managing the terror of death through psychological defences.
Cultural and Psychological Mechanisms
Becker delves into the various ways humans construct cultural and psychological systems to deny death. He explains how our pursuit of heroism, our adherence to cultural narratives, and our creation of symbols and institutions all serve to provide a sense of immortality and meaning in the face of mortality. These mechanisms, according to Becker, are essential for coping with the existential anxiety that would otherwise overwhelm us.
Yalom listens attentively, acknowledging that while his approach encourages confronting the fear of death to find meaning, Becker’s perspective highlights how deeply ingrained and pervasive the denial of death can be. This denial, Becker argues, is not just a personal defence but a collective effort embedded in our culture and societal structures.
Anna reflects on how her own life might be shaped by these cultural and psychological mechanisms. She begins to see how her intense focus on her relationship with Freud and her emotional struggles could be part of a broader attempt to find stability and significance in the face of existential uncertainty.
The Heroic Quest and Existential Angst
Becker introduces the concept of the “heroic quest” as a way individuals seek to transcend their mortality. This quest can take many forms, from the pursuit of personal achievements to the adherence to cultural or religious narratives that promise some form of eternal significance. For Anna, Becker suggests, her erotic transference to Freud might be seen as a heroic quest for connection and meaning that helps her manage her existential anxiety.
Anna considers how her deep longing for Freud and her projections onto him might be part of an unconscious effort to find a sense of immortality through love and attachment. Becker’s insights help her to see how her emotional experiences are not just about her past or her psychological dynamics but also about her fundamental struggle with the awareness of death.
Bowlby, with his focus on attachment, acknowledges that our bonds with others can provide a sense of security and continuity that helps us manage existential fears. Winnicott adds that the ability to be a “good enough” parent to oneself involves creating a stable and nurturing internal world that can contain and integrate these existential anxieties.
Integrating Denial and Acceptance
With Becker’s challenging insights, Anna begins to explore how she can integrate both the denial and acceptance of death into her journey. She recognises that while denial can be a necessary defence against overwhelming fear, confronting and integrating her awareness of mortality can lead to deeper growth and authenticity.
Yalom encourages Anna to continue facing her existential fears, suggesting that acknowledging the reality of death can deepen her engagement with life. Becker, while emphasising the pervasive nature of denial, also acknowledges that moments of confronting our mortality can provide powerful opportunities for transformation and self-discovery.
Freud, Bowlby, Winnicott, Klein, and Ogden each contribute their perspectives, enriching Anna’s understanding of how her internal dynamics and external relationships are intertwined with her existential concerns. They help her to see how her quest for meaning and connection is deeply connected to her awareness of death and her attempts to manage this fundamental anxiety.
Embracing the Fullness of Existence
Anna’s journey with Freud, Bowlby, Winnicott, Klein, Ogden, Yalom, and now Becker, reveals the profound complexity of our psychological and existential lives. Becker’s insights into the denial of death challenge us to recognize the ways in which we construct our lives to obscure or manage our awareness of mortality.
Through the combined wisdom of these pioneering thinkers, Anna learns to navigate her emotions and her existential fears with greater clarity and compassion. She discovers that her journey is not just about understanding her past or managing her relationships but also about finding meaning and authenticity in the face of mortality.
Threads of Mortality
In rooms of whispered pain and silent cries,
Where self-inflicted wounds lay bare the soul,
I tread the fragile line where healing lies,
Yet feel the weight of fears beyond control.
They cut to feel, to grasp their fleeting breath,
A stark reminder of our shared despair,
In facing raw confrontations with death,
Their wounds expose the depths we each must bear.
Immortality's a fragile dream,
A therapist’s hope to leave a mark,
Yet, in their scars, my fears unseam,
Revealing truths that haunt me in the dark.
In mirrored wounds, my own reflections trace,
The frailty of life, the quest for grace.
This poem and sketch, derived from my PhD research on 'therapists emotional reactions to working with clients who self-injure' encapsulates the poignant relationship between my sense of duty, the raw reality of clients' self-injury, and the profound existential reflections that arise from these therapeutic encounters.
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